


On the Beach

by HYPERFocused



Category: Baywatch, Brady Bunch, Hornblower (TV), Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Smallville, The OC, seaQuest
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Episode Related, Ficlet, M/M, Multi, Mystery Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2274282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HYPERFocused/pseuds/HYPERFocused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day at the ocean. In Smallville.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> Written 2/10/2004

Lex really thought he was over it. Thought that his fevered imaginings were long behind him, that the abyss chipped into his mind at Belle Reve was nearly filled in, if not completely patched.

But when he walked out to where his orchid garden used to be, and instead found Clark, in dark red swimming trunks, laying out on the beach Lex didn't know he had, he knew he wasn't at all well.

"Hi, Lex!" Clark said, brightly, holding up a bottle of sunscreen. "I brought this for you. It's SPF 10,000. Can I rub it all over you? I wouldn't want you to get burnt again." Lex watched as he smoothed oil all over his ripped, perfectly tan torso, and down his long legs. If this was an hallucination, he quite enjoyed being insane.

"All right… Clark, how long has there been a beach in my back yard. With surfers - and is that a clipper ship?" Lex held up the vintage spyglass to his eye - he didn't know where the heck it had come from, but there it was, anyway - and spotted the odd looking gang wading through the water towards them.

First, there were Chloe and Lana, running in slow motion towards Pete, who had just wiped out on a surfboard. For some reason he kept yelling "it was supposed to be Greg, not me!" in a squeaky voice. Lex's eyes were drawn - as if by their own accord - to the girls' heaving breasts. He had a sudden inexplicable urge to listen to German pop.

Even stranger, there was an old fashioned pirate, with long hair and decidedly modern dark eyeliner. A bunch of well dressed buff Abercrombie & Fitch models beating up a curly haired kid in a vintage T-shirt; what looked like a nineteenth century British warship. If his eyes weren't deceiving him, there was a futuristic submarine, with the letters SEAQ barely discernible.

And all of them were approaching what used to be his nice, sedate garden, and was now a long expanse of sandy beachfront the likes of which Kansas had never seen. Lex didn't think he could blame his father for this one.

"I don't know, Lex, it just suddenly appeared here. Like my laptop, and Lana's new SUV. We don't try and explain things here in Smallville, we just accept that they happen. At least, that's what my dad says." Clark patted the towel next to him, and Lex sat down to admire the view.

He looked at the water, too.

It was more than a little strange, but that was par for the course in Smallville. Lex could see his property values going way up with this new change. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Clark under the Boardwalk. But first, he'd have to build one.

Taking out his Blackberry, he made a note to call the LexCorp architects in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Had this been written more recently, the H50 gang would be there, too.


End file.
